Housewarmings…Sweet & Bitter
As I prepare for our housewarming party tomorrow, I am thinking of when Jim and I finally decided to rent this house and move in together. (image credit) When I moved into the Madisonville house more than 8 years ago, my parents brought down a trailer that contained my childhood bed (which my son Matt now sleeps in), a couple of coffee tables, and a couch, etc. They helped me move everything in and get settled as I began coming to terms with my divorce.
At that time, I was desperately unhappy, and deeply worried about my future and my kids. Frankly the only positive thing I had gained from my marriage, were my two boys. And while they did not state their fears, I have no doubt that my parents were worried about me too.
In the last 8-9 years I’ve worked really hard to make significant changes in my life that have led to my happiness...I’ve gained strong self-confidence, and a fierce resilience. Sharing my daily life and making a home with Jim is another huge step on that journey.
So when I stood in the foyer of our new home, I turned to Jim saying “My Dad will never see this house, he will never know how much you mean to me and about us.”
I don’t think I realized until that moment how important my Dad’s recognition meant to me, even at 48 years old. It saddens me that the slow and horrible progression of Alzheimers means he won't have the opportunity to see and enjoy my sweaty, hard-earned success.
And yet, sometimes when I am working away in my home office, and glance at the photo of Dad and I above my bookshelf, I can hear his voice in my head saying “I am really proud of you ‘Dre.”